Ticklish
by Diva Urd
Summary: One-Shot - Goku's thoughts during a certain procedure in Reload Ep. 20... involving a paintbrush. No real spoilers for the end of Reload. One-sided shounen-ai 93.


**Title:** Ticklish  
**Author:** Diva Urd  
**Beta:** Zelgadis55 (thank you!)  
**Pairing:** Goku/Sanzo (one-sided)  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** Shounen-Ai

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Saiyuki" or any of its characters, and I do not pursue any financial gain with this fic.

This fic was written in response to the following challenge:

_"Your mission, if you chose to accept it (pretty please!) is to write 500 - 1000 words inspired by the word ROMANCE."_

While this is more of an "almost-romance", I thought it still fit, especially since I wanted to write it even before the challenge came in ;-)

Note that this fic deals with a specific point in Saiyuki Reload Episode 20; I don't think it spoils anything of the series, since the event mentioned is not really relevant to the storyline. Furthermore, this is not just a retelling of what happens, since the scene described here takes place in a cut from one to the next, where at least 10 minutes have passed.

Ticklish

I'm lying on the ground, my arms held over my head – and I can't stop laughing.

A paintbrush is slowly moving over my chest, my stomach and my legs, carefully and precisely making contact with certain places of my skin... what's it writing?

I can't see; my body is too busy struggling against the person holding it down to look down and see.

All I know is one thing:

It TICKLES!

I'm reduced to helpless laughter and feeble attempts to free myself - so it isn't hard for Hakkai to hold me as Sanzo administers something that is supposed to counteract Kami-sama's magic.

I manage to look up to my Sun, although I still can't keep from giggling at the touches of the brush. His brow is furrowed in concentration, violet eyes fixed on his work.

And the corners of his mouth are twitching in what is almost a smile.

'Is he enjoying this?' I can't help but wonder.

And if he is, what part of it? Does he enjoy seeing me laugh? Does me being ticklish amuse him?

Does he enjoy the sight of me being stripped down to my underwear?

For months now, I have wondered just which one of his attitudes towards me is the real one – the commonly shown one of a guardian, a keeper, a man annoyed with the antics of his charge, or the one reserved for very rare moments, the one where he is almost friendly, almost... equal?

I can't decide. Isn't that pathetic? I know Sanzo better than anyone save perhaps Hakkai, and yet I'm unsure what he really is like.

My optimistic side, the one that never gives up, no matter the difficulties, insists that he only acts constantly irritated to convince others that he is cold and heartless, for whatever reason.

But there is also another side of me, one that rarely manages to win the upper hand, responding that he really IS annoyed with me most of the time, that he is only willing to give me the time of day when struck by a peculiar mood – one that I can never foresee.

I used to not care – all that was important was being close to my Sun. It didn't matter whether it warmed or burned me. But lately, I wish for the friendliness to shine through the cold facade more often. I wish for him to trust me, to allow himself to show weakness in front of me. I wish for

(long, pale fingers traveling down my spine)

(breath mingling as two sets of lips softly brush against each other)

(his face flushed with desire)

(violet eyes filled with...)

I know I'm not being realistic. I know it's probably never going to happen. And yet I wonder... if we survive this journey, will I try to fulfill my wishes by telling him how I feel? Will I risk my place at his side hoping for more?

There are moments when these questions do not seem quite as ridiculous anymore. Moments when he ruffles my hair. Moments when he agrees to have me along on one of his walks. Moments when he smiles at me.

Like he almost did mere seconds ago.

My thoughts unfocus as the sensation of being tickled all over sets in again. By now, Sanzo is working on my shoulders and my face, while Hakkai holds my arms down at my sides. The brush softly moves over my cheek, and I feel a peculiar sticky sensation on my forehead and various other places of my body.

Suddenly, the unbearably tickling brush ceases to torment me, and the grip on my wrists loosens.

"I guess this should be enough", Sanzo says. There – another traitorous twitch of his lips, hastily concealed by a neutral expression.

Hakkai does not try to hide his amusement; he grins, and his eyes shine with mirth.

I finally manage to look down.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

While Sanzo explains how the various fuda and Sanskrit scribblings on my body are supposed to break through Kami-sama's barrier, Hakkai starts laughing and tells me how great I look.

"But why me?"

Of course, Sanzo is the only one able to write the tantra, and Hakkai must have been too big a body to write on for him.

I feel mortally embarrassed, looking like a walking, talking book of spells and having Hakkai snicker at me. Sanzo has the good grace not to laugh, although I bet he thinks this situation to be just as funny as Hakkai apparently does.

"Damn it!"

Suddenly, I run off into the woods, in the direction of the reflective barrier, feeling blood rushing to my face.

_Sanzo, I'll get you for this!_

* * *

Yay for another one-shot!

Lately, I've only been writing one-shots about people's thoughts... it's high time I actually start writing a story with actual dialogue and plot again. Damn RL, and damn lacking inspiration...

Comments appreciated!


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